There is no question that military life is hard. You become use to being lonely, with only your spouse as someone to talk to and trust; it’s no surprise when dinners are late or weekends are skipped because of duty; life as active duty or a military spouse is not for the light hearted.
I was fortunate enough to be out of the Marine Corps before I got pregnant, but my husband is active duty which has taken a toll on us the past month or so with his command.
Now of course military is unpredictable and you cannot always control life, scratch that … you can NEVER control life when it comes to the military. We had been lucky enough to go 8 months without a real big problem caused by Justin’s command, just 8.
It first started out the day I was induced, which is a whole story in itself that you can read about here. But as a military spouse you have to be flexible, you have to understand that your spouse is not yours whole heartedly. Your spouse belongs to the government and what they say goes… no matter what. I see husbands miss out on their childrens’ births more often than I like, they miss out on entire pregnancies, they have to live across the country from their wives and children. That is the way of military life. If you are getting yourself into what seems like this “I have my shit together because I’m in the military/married to someone in the military” mindset, check yourself please. It’s not easy.
My whole pregnancy, Justin and I had a plan. He would get his 10 days of paternity leave and then take his own leave after that ended. Wrong. We were wrong. Leave denied, twice. This is where as a military spouse you have to remain flexible. 100% of me was not ready for him to go back to work after 10 days, especially when in my mind I was planning on him being home for a whole month after I gave birth. So we worked around what was going on at work and we are figuring it out.
As a military spouse, you have to keep an open mind. As a complete control freak, type A- personality, and slightly OCD, I have to remind myself to keep an open mind and not make everything bigger than it already is or needs to be.
Never in my life did I think that I would join the military.
Never in my life did I think I would marry someone in the military.
Never in my life did I think I would have a child and raise him or her in a military lifestyle.
But things change, you have to change. “Adapt and overcome”.
So if you’re a military spouse and you’re struggling today, remember that you are not alone. We all struggle and we all have heartache, some more than others but no one’s heartache has less meaning than the other. If you are struggling and need someone to talk to, or you just want to talk, please comment below, message me on social media. Don’t even think you’re alone.
Until next time,